Beginnings and Endings

The New Year is off to a bumpy start. I seem to get sick twice a year. In January and around September... so sure enough, I'm down with it. Stress weakens the immune system and work has just been too darn stressful lately. Started with a cold, and now I've the flu on top of it. Blech. So now I'm drowning myself in Tea, Broth and Ginger Ale and trying to sleep it off.  I'm trying not to be completely miserable though, and am making an effort to be creative and connect. Which are two of my big focuses for the year. 

My new manager at work gave me a lovely set of gel pens for Christmas so I started a project of drawing flowers for friends. I love this because it lets me do both.  

mI also signed up for Plenty of Fish to attempt some online dating. On line dating is tough. Usually after about a week I'm ready to quit.

My first date was not awesome... guy was pushy, some good conversation but lots of red flags, and reacted really poorly when I told him I thought we should just be friends (this was said only because we have mutual friends in common) he kept pushing... tried to bring in one of those mutual friends for help... got worse... yeah.. woke up to a hostile text message this morning... awesome... so he's blocked now.  Hopefully I haven't lost the friend too... I don't deal with conflict well, or confrontation. Often I try to bring in a mediator. The last two times I've tried this it failed horribly. I was raised that if you are having trouble communicating bringing in a third party who knows both to try to help is the way to go... apparently people don't do that anymore? I don't know... I fumble. 

Other online dating interactions include lots of "Hey Baby!" (I hate being called Baby FYI. I'm not an infant, and I dislike the inference that I need to be taken care of) "You're beautiful" (ok that's nice, but did you read my profile?), and multiple offers for hook ups and told "I'm horny" multiple times (NO! just stop!), guys getting hostile when you don't respond right away or at all....

​Only one guy so far with any real promise. Such promise though.... very exciting... good conversation.. understanding... intelligent... creative... I like him... I feel I can be myself with him... so.. we'll see... I have hope. Which is more than I've had for a while on that front. 

So it's a time of beginnings... and endings. As it always goes. I'm trying to end old ways of being, and patterns that do not serve me and begin new adventures.  Time to try and stomach some broth..