Thankful Thursday 05.18.23

I woke up this morning in severe pain. My whole left side rather felt like it had been beat up. On my favorite pain scale chart… … Its ranging between – Bees! And Mauled by a bear/ninjas.

Chronic pain is no joke. The fact that I've been in pretty much constant pain since 2009 and am still sane, not a total cranky pants or addicted to something, is pretty remarkable when you think about it. Go me. 

Financially responsible me says wait till I find a new job and then quit…
Physically responsible me says quit now before it breaks me and I can’t walk.
I’m not sure which of the responsible me’s will win… we will see how tomorrow goes. Hopefully something else comes along quickly because I just don’t like this level of pain.

However, despite the pain there is much that I'm am thankful for.

via GIPHY

I had an interview at the hospital yesterday and I have another interview for a different job at the hospital on Monday, and had a message (which I tried to return) for yet a different job at the hospital.
 

​I really would like to get a job at the hospital. The jobs I’d be doing would be day shifts Monday – Friday. Perfect. They would also be mostly sitting (also perfect). They also come with a severely discounted membership to the fitness center with the pool where I can do aqua jogging and water aerobics and sit in the hot tub. PERFECT.   So please hold all the good vibes for that.
Also, one of my best friends works there and another close family friend. Perfect. Perfect.

I'm also thankful that ​I just got off the phone with one of my best friends on the planet. I love Mok. I don’t always feel like I’m a very good friend or worthy of the love I get from the people I have. (Both are symptomatic of ADHD and C-PTSD) I can be scatterbrained and cranky and awkward. Mok loves me despite all this, and has been such an encouraging and loving presence in my life for almost 15 years. I always feel better when I speak to him and am just filled with love. I’d like to strive to be more like Mok. Thoughtful, Intelligent, Fun, Silly, Loving, Accepting, an Ally, Positive, Creative, and just generally likeable. …… I have a long way to go.

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Other things I'm grateful for: 

I’m grateful for my friends
I’m grateful for my mom
I’m grateful for my cats
I’m grateful for my chiropractor
I’m grateful for Advil
I’m grateful for tea
I’m grateful for pillows
I’m grateful for opportunities
I’m grateful for food trucks
I’m grateful for my car
I’m grateful for sleep
I’m grateful for my classical favorites playlist on Apple Music (check it out if you have apple music) It puts me in a mellow peaceful place.